One cold, dark winters night, my young protégé Andy and I were in the D.U.I. UNIT patrolling Douglas County. Andy was a young jailer or radio operator at that time.  Andy decided to take the fast track to patrol, much the way I did. He would make it a point to ride shotgun as much as possible with the shifts. One night while Eastbound on I-20 around Bright Star Road bridge, we observed a large dark Cadillac or Continental weaving substantially in the I-20 slow lane ahead of us. It weaved in and out of the emergency lane several times. A classic D.U.I. maneuver. So, I turned on the lights and bumped the siren.

The large car pulled quickly into the emergency lane and stopped. That caused us to brake hard or over-shoot them. The bells started going off in my head as I approached the driver’s door. Andy gave the 10-38 traffic stop information with tag, location, and such.  As I wearily approached the big car, Andy stood at the front of our unit’s passenger side with my spare flashlight.

As I approached the driver’s door, I noticed the windows of the car were completely fogged up. You could not see inside the car that night for the glazed windows. I was only able to see the driver through his lowered window and the windshield. I asked for his driver’s license and insurance. When the driver reached for his wallet, I saw a mad, furious scramble going on in the backseat. So much so that it was rocking the big Caddy. I jumped towards the front windshield, which had the best view inside. I drew my .40cal and shouted, “Driver, hands on the wheel!” “Backseat! Don’t move!” With my weapon drawn, they all complied immediately. That was not unusual. I ordered the driver to turn on the dome light. As he did, I saw the two dim figures in the back seat stop their frantic movement. I had young Andy as a backup, so I ordered all occupants to exit the car. Andy had gotten the shotgun from our car and was now standing closer, silhouetted against our headlights. I had the driver and rear male passenger step out to me on the driver’s side. The back seat male exited with his nice suit clothes all disheveled. I holstered my .40 as all appeared to be under my control now.  I escorted the men to the back of the car and to the grassy shoulder of the Interstate.  As I followed both men to the rear of the vehicle, I saw Andy’s eyes start to become as big as saucers looking at the Cadillac. I quickly turned to see a completely naked woman step from the rear seat of the big car. She was absolutely naked, not even shoes. It was freezing cold in the dead of winter, but there she stood in all her glory. She could have been a movie star or supermodel. She was that stunning. She was gorgeous.

The three occupants looked to be in their mid-thirties. I scanned inside the car before I told the female to get back in and get herself together. Time to straighten this traveling sideshow out. My protégé Andy was getting an eye full on his side of the car. He was really focused on watching my back at that time. Never took his eyes off that woman. The men were very cordial and smiling. Big smiles even.

The well-dressed husband driver then said that his Navy buddy was finally back stateside and that they had been to Carrollton to eat and were on their way home. The driver claimed only two glasses of wine. The driver passed all State recommended D.U.I. field tests, including the roadside alco sensor. The woman stepped back out wearing a full-length fur coat and nothing else. There you go, Andy.

I then realized that this was evidently a “thing” with the driver and his wife. I had the men get back into the car. She was now wearing a full-length fur coat and still barefooted. She appeared totally embarrassed and kept looking at the ground while I spoke to her. My only concern became whether she was coerced into her actions. She sheepishly said that she was a willing participant. She sheepishly said that she was O.K.

I told her, “This is the time for you to say if you are being forced.” She declined the offer. I had her get back into the big car and admonished the driver for recklessly driving while his attention was on the back seat. I told them all to practice their future events in the privacy of their home and not the roadways. No citations were issued.

Happy Retirement, Captain Andy C., my Protégé!